that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
