my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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