Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize