im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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