He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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