Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
