My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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