Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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