If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
