I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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