The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
