i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
