On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
