i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
