Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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