This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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