i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
