We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize