wat bout pragnant strippers??
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
