It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
