He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
