I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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