i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
