Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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