His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
