9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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