ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
