her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
