so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize