I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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