Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
