Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize