I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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