Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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