I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize