He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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