I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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