We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
