hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize