just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
