Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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