if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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