...so i touched it.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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