If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
