I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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