I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
