butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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