You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
