I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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