yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
