I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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