I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
