I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
