Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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