u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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