fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize