I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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