i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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