Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
