She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
