Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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