I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
