That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it hurts more in the daytime
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
