she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
