i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
