I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
