There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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