get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
