I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
