yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize