Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
