i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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