Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he was CRYING into my vagina
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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