party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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