According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
