He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
