I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
