You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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