i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
