plz talk dirty to me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
